I’m sitting here typing with one eye closed, thanks in part to a sparring match gone bad but mostly to Austin’s four-season allergy season (which is #5 on my list of things I hate about Austin, putting it somewhere ahead of ‘traffic’ but behind ‘UT business majors’ and ‘Spiderhouse Coffee‘). Luckily, it doesn’t take much depth perception to bitch about things I hate about this city. And number one on that list is ‘Keep Austin Weird.’
I hate to do it, kids, I really do, but I have to shatter a cherished, long held myth. This is going to be like the time your parents told you where Easter Eggs/Christmas presents/babies really came from. It’ll hurt, you may cry, but in the end you’ll be so much happier that you know the truth.
That’s this: Austin isn’t exceptional. Austin is cool. Austin is trendy. Austin has a lot of well-dressed, attractive people. I can’t think of anyplace I would rather live as a student. But it isn’t exceptional.
This whole thing is actually two combined myths. One, that Austin is this Promised Land which isn’t actually part of Texas; two, that it’s this rich, diverse, local town. These myths, by the way, have been picked up by every snotty Northeasterner who has ever told me that, ‘Oh, you’re from Austin? I’ve heard Austin is the only cool place in Texas.’
First off, no. You are wrong. In a state of 20 million, there damn well better be other cool places to go. Second off, why exactly do you think Austin is so damn exceptional? Because Travis County consistently goes Democrat? Because there’s a lot of green space? Because women are allowed to go topless in public parks? (If the last, I concede that this is awesome, but only, I repeat only, in theory)
Because let’s face it. The ‘Keep Austin Weird’ parts of Austin are pretty stultifyingly monocultural: upper-class trendy liberal white people (some of whom may be slumming). Get outside those areas, and you’re either on the East Side or in the suburbs. In either case, you could as easily be in parts of Houston, or Dallas, or-for that matter-San Diego.
(And as for the liberal thing: you remember we’re in a ridiculously conservative state? With a reactionary legislature? Where do you think those people hang out?)
When people say Austin’s ‘weird,’ they mean it has a local character. Fine. It does. But so do lots of places in Texas. And Austin doesn’t have the cultural resources or immigrant neighborhoods (yes, yes, I know, except for the East Side) that Houston, or Dallas, or San Antonio do. And, partly, because they are so much larger and so much more diverse, those are all a lot more interesting than Austin.
Not that I’d rather live in any of those places. I like this town. But stop acting like it’s so damn special. You’re still in Texas. Get over it.